Focussing on what you have, NOT what's missing

One of the ways to get on one of the on-ramps hanging off the misery expressway is to focus on what you lack, what's missing from your life. There is no end to the items on this list. So, you can think that you lack a big enough house, a nice enough car, a less than perfect spouse etc.

We in the West have become masters at this kind of thinking - helped no doubt by all the advertising which tries to tell us that there's something missing from our lives, and by buying we can be happy and whole. Of course, this is delusional.

For this reason, I like to travel overseas every year, especially to developing countries, and remind myself how lucky I am - especially when I see people living under some miserable conditions. I was born in America (will never lack for good food, clothing or shelter), have a nice family, good friends and have an educational background that allows me to do meaningful work on multiple continents. As a result, I feel indescribably fortunate and wealthy each time I return home from these overseas trips or stays, and consequently quite joyful. I am able to be on this "joy high" for quite a long time afterwards.

Try it yourself: If you think your life in America or W. Europe sucks, pack your bags and head to south Asia, Africa or Latin America. Upon your return, you'll be kissing the ground and feeling as if you're Bill Gates.

Breaking free from Sisyphean tasks

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king condemned by the Gods to continually roll a huge rock uphill - before he could reach the top, the rock would slip out of his grasp, roll downhill, and we would have to start all over again.

So, the phrase Sisyphean task refers to pointless or never-ending activities. Why do I bring this up? Returning to America after 18 odd-months overseas, I feel Americans are stuck doing jobs that are great for increasing national GDP but terrible for personal well-being. Production efficiencies have made many people economically redundant - but, people are engaged than ever before - stuck at jobs doing useless, paper-shuffling, meeting-hogging grunt-busy-work.

The challenge is to find work that is life and soul-enhancing after breaking free from this pointless job trap...but first, there's a need to realize that one is walking in the steps of Sisyphus.

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.
-- John Adams

Practicing non-attachment

One of the core Buddhist beliefs is that attachment, usually driven by desire, is the root cause of suffering. From experience, I've found this to be the case. (As an aside, I am more in tune with the mystics of various religious traditions, who emphasized experiential ways to access the divinity within and without.)

When I owned a house, there was lot of details regarding its care and maintenance that I was forced to worry about. This caused me needless angst which I did not like one bit.

Now, being a rootless nomad, floating from continent to continent - I feel a sense of deep joy stemming from not worrying about objects. I have slowly cultivated a sense of deachment from almost all my material possessions. I was recently informed that my brother had to toss out all my books/notebooks/coursematerial from B-school from forking over $70K in tuition) that were boxed in my parents house, after it got flooded. It didn't faze me a bit, while about 2 years ago I would have indulged in prolonged hand-wringing and/or chest beating.

The world of material objects is impermanent and fleeting - all maya (an illusion). None of us will be buried pharaonic style - along with all our possessions. Can you picture yourself lying in a coffin with a sweet-ass 60 inch plasma TV at your feet, and the latest iPod pumping rap in your ears? I didn't think so. So, it is futile to obsess or stress about chunky metal or plastic.

Joy stems from pursuit of the infinite - the sensual and the sublime, the magical and the mysterious, the towering transcendental.

“An intelligent person does not take part in the sources of misery, which are due to contact with material senses. Such pleasures have a beginning and an end, and so the wise man does not delight in them.”

“To the illumined man or woman, a clod of dirt, a stone, and gold are the same.”

“Thou hast power only to act not over the result thereof. Act thou therefore without prospect of the result and without succcumbing to inaction."

- From The Bhagavad Gita

Do nothing

This is in keeping with the Taoist dictum -

"The Master does nothing, yet nothing remains undone."
--Lao Tzu

This flips the American admonition, "Don't just stand there, do something!" on its head. The Taoist way is more like, "Don't just do something, stand there!"

Activity or effort does not automatically equal contribution. Time spent in contemplation, figuring out what's really important in life with respect to work, job, family - is time well-spent. I utilize what I call a regret-minimization framework or "a corpse-eye view" - viewing my life from the vantage point of lying in a coffin, to help me figure out what's important. I've realized the value of breaks and sabbaticals as opportunities for reviewing/clarifying life goals.

Frankly, most activity in life just seems positively absurd and ridiculous. For example, all the time spent processing - home repairs, laundry, email inboxtransacting - banking, accounting - consuming - shopping as a pastime and waiting - being stuck in traffic, standing in line.

I have made a conscious attempt to reduce and/or eliminate the aforementioned activities, and use the time saved to do nothing (or more loving!). I must say it has been extremely rejuvenating.

People who follow the Tao do not desire excess to be full.
People who do not desire excess have unseen energy that constantly invigorates.
- from the Tao te Ching

Rediscovering your humanity

Most people derive their identity and consequently respect, admiration, status from their context - family, friends, job, nationality etc. But, my travels overseas have shown me that outside of one's normal context, respect, admiration, status need to be earned by making an impact on people that one comes into contact with.

It is in these moments that one discovers what it is to be truly human - by relating to individuals in a way that warms the soul, and causing ripples of smiles to spread across their face.

What is needed in the world is for more people to leave their comfort zones and connect the universal spirit that lies within them to the universal consciousness.

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. - Albert Einstein