Mango Joy

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. I think that is the only way to keep adding to one's talent, and one's inner happiness.

--George Sand

[via Curt Rosengren]

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Rising Incomes vs. Happiness: Oldie from The Economist

A second and more important reason why more money does not automatically make everybody happier is that people tend to compare their lot with that of others. In one striking example, students at Harvard University were asked whether they would prefer (a) $50,000 a year while others got half that or (b) $100,000 a year while others got twice as much. A majority chose (a). They were happy with less, as long as they were better off than others. Other studies confirm that people are often more concerned about their income relative to others' than about their absolute income. Pleasure at your own pay rise can vanish when you learn that a colleague has been given a much bigger one. The implication of all this is that people's efforts to make themselves happier by working harder in order to earn and spend more are partly self-defeating: they may make more money, but because others do too, they do not get much happier.

When I spent 6 months in Merida-Venezuela, I was deliriously happy. I didn't see a single BMW in all that time. Even on a lowly budget of $350 a month, I was living it up - leagues better than the average Venezuelan. I guess it was the accidental (a) choice above, that I had made. It was a university town where Venezuelan students lived on about $125/month.

"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

From The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho

Monday, October 24, 2005

If anyone asked me what is the life of life, and what is the light of life, what gives one interest in life, I should answer him in one word, and that is: the ideal. A man with wealth, with qualifications, with learning, with comfort, but without ideal to me is a corpse; but a man without learning, without qualifications, without wealth or rank, but with an ideal is a living man.

If a man does not live for an ideal what else does he live for? He lives for himself, which is nothing. The man who lives and does not know an ideal is powerless and without light. The greater the ideal, the greater the person. The wider the ideal the broader the person. The deeper the ideal the deeper the person, the higher the ideal the higher the person. Without an ideal, whatever a man may be in life, life for him is worthless.

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan

"Beauty is abundantly available to the unhurried mind." - Caroline Casey:

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Observer | Magazine | Oliver James: Directions home
It's very hard to be adult in a developed nation and retain the spontaneity and inventiveness found in three year olds, without being mad, personality disordered or employed as an artist. I believe that creating the context in which these child-like attributes can flourish in adults should be the principal goal of politics; they are the cornerstone of mental well-being.

The words 'change' and 'dreams' have dominated the political party conferences this year, but they referred to improved Having rather than Being. Dylan was right that he who is not busy being born (emotionally maturing), is busy dying.

Don't Worry be Happy
Going Sane by Adam Phillips
From the FT:

Phillips is a London-based psychoanalyst, a prolific author and a recognised authority on Freud.

Where people go wrong with Freud, says Phillips, is that they imagine his writing is an instruction book on how to live, rather than an inspiration that should evoke ideas of one’s own. He goes on to talk about the difference between hunger and sexual desire. “By virtue of our having once been children,” he says, “our need for parents’ love is always greater than their need for us.” Later in life, this leads inevitably to a gulf between the fantasy and the reality of love. The difference between hunger and sexual appetite is that hunger is a biological need that can be satisfied, whereas love is a desire which cannot - and should not - be fully sated. To be entirely satisfied in the realm of sexual desire would be a catastrophe, according to Phillips. “That is the person we must not find.” None of this can be said to be true of hunger. There is a wriggle of laughter.

Sanity, he says, “is about learning to enjoy conflict”. Relationships “are not the kind of thing one can succeed or fail at, any more than one can succeed or fail at having red hair”. Depression, according to Phillips, “is about managing a lack of desire”. We should excise the word disappointment from our vocabulary, he says - “there is nothing to be disappointed about”. The art of romantic relationships, he reckons, “is to know when one is over”.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

How to Buy Nothing - eHow.com

He who owns little is little owned. -Thoreau

Pursuing joy often times is about unshackling yourself from buying and maintaining physical possessions so you can free up time to explore your passions.

So what do you have to do to find happiness? - Health features - Times Online

Seligman's happiness scouts discovered six core virtues recognised in all cultures: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence. They have subdivided these into 24 strengths, including humour and honesty.

Although most people rate themselves as happy, there is a wealth of evidence to show that negative thinking is deeply ingrained in the human psyche. Experiments show that we remember failures more vividly than successes. We dwell on what went badly, not what went well. When life runs smoothly, we're on autopilot — we're only in a state of true consciousness when we notice the stone in our shoe. Of the six universal emotions, four — anger, fear, disgust and sadness — are negative and only one, joy, is positive. (The sixth, surprise, is neutral.)

Modern humans, stuck with an ancient brain, are like rats on a wheel. We can't stop running, because we're always looking over our shoulders and comparing our achievements with our neighbours'. At 20, we think we'd be happy with a house and a car. But if we get them, we start dreaming of a second home in Italy and a turbo-charged four-wheel-drive.

This is called the "hedonic treadmill" by happiness scholars. It causes us to rapidly and inevitably adapt to good things by taking them for granted. The more possessions and accomplishments we have, the more we need to boost our level of happiness. It makes sense that the brain of a species that has dominated others would evolve to strive to be best.

Our difficulty, according to Daniel Nettle, is that the brain systems for liking and wanting are separate. Wanting involves two ancient regions — the amygdala and the nucleus accumbens — that communicate using the chemical dopamine to form the brain's reward system. At the Royal Institution, Nettle explained how brain chemistry foils our pursuit of happiness in the modern world: "The things that you desire are not the things that you end up liking. The mechanisms of desire are insatiable. There are things that we really like and tire of less quickly — having good friends, the beauty of the natural world, spirituality. But our economic system plays into the psychology of wanting, and the psychology of liking gets drowned out."

Happiness is neither desire nor pleasure alone. It involves a third chemical pathway. Serotonin constantly shifts the balance between negative and positive emotions. It can reduce worry, fear, panic and sleeplessness and increase sociability, co-operation, and happy feelings. Drugs based
on serotonin, such as ecstasy, produce a relaxed sense of wellbeing rather than the dopamine pattern of euphoria and craving.

Seligman are convinced you can train yourself to be happier. His teams are developing new positive interventions (treatments) to counteract the brain's nagging insistence on seeking out bad news. The treatments work by boosting positive emotion about the past, by teaching people to savour the present, and by increasing the amount of engagement and meaning in their lives.

Cognitive therapy places less emphasis on the past. It works by challenging a person's thinking about the present and setting goals for the future. Another newcomer, brief solution-focused therapy, discourages talk about "problems" and helps clients identify strengths and resources to make positive changes in their lives.

Seligman speculates that doing more exercises for longer would bring greater benefits. Hundreds of thousands of people have registered with his website www.reflectivehappiness.com — where, for $10 a month, they are given a happiness programme including instruction in a package of positive exercises.

The British approach to wellbeing also emphasises good physical health and diet, proper sleep, relaxation and exercise, and spending time in the natural environment.

But why should happiness have such an effect on the immune system?" asks Clow. She speculates that there is an evolutionary mechanism. Our happiest ancestors were bold creatures who socialised and ventured out to explore. This brought them into contact with infection, so they needed higher levels of antibodies in a stronger immune system.

But repeated stress weakens us. The stress response temporarily increases the level of cortisol, a vital hormone that regulates the whole immune system. This is a healthy response, designed to produce fight or flight only in cases of real danger. Unfortunately, the daily hassles of modern life induce repeated stress in some of us, subjecting our bodies to frequent pulses of cortisol. This unbalances the immune system and makes us ill.

It's difficult to resist the logic of the happiness doctors. Stay in your Eeyore-ish bubble of existentialist angst and have a life that's short, sickly, friendless and self-obsessed. Or find a way to get happy, and long life, good health, job satisfaction and social success will be yours. You'd better start writing that gratitude letter now.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

via Worthwhile mag: "The key to a happy life is to accomplish things that you really feel like are good for somebody beyond just you. Nothing else will do it. A lot of people think happiness is about lots of time to play. I was a manic kayaker for a long time. And there were some people who just managed to arrange their whole life around kayaking and of course, we were all insanely jealous. But then, with the benefit of hindsight, that choice doesn't work out so great and I think it is because it's all about you. OK, maybe you like kayaking, but what are you going to be proud of at the end of the day? You may pass the time more or less pleasantly, but you're not going to feel too good about it. The same thing is true with getting rich." -- Green developer and Mindspring Founder Charles Brewer, interviewed in the Premiere issue of Worthwhile magazine

Monday, October 03, 2005

Think Protirement

via Curt Rosengren's Occupational Adventure:

The term "protirement" was coined in the 90's to describe the trend towards an increasing focus on living vibrant and purposeful lives after retirement. (Heck, can be even before!)

Like anything, a great protirement doesn't just happen. It takes some work and, if you still have time, some forethought. Here is an abbreviated version of six steps for planning for protirement:

1. Start a protirement planning journal. Let this be where you place all your ideas as they come to you about what you'd like to do "some day."
2. Set aside an hour or two. Meditate, listen to music, do what works for you to get in a relaxed state. Now write in your journal about your life 10, 20, 30 years from now. Include details describing a typical day; week; month.
3. Pretend you've won the lottery and you never have to worry about money again. What would you do with your time?
4. Make a list of things you've ever enjoyed doing. Look back over your life and remember what it felt like to just have a good time.
5. How do you want to be remembered? Pretend you are a fly on the wall at your own funeral. What are people saying about you?
6. Make a budget. No, make three budgets! The first budget can be your today budget...Make the second budget a bare bones budget...For the third budget, think about your needs in the future.